My Diary #107

Dear Tigey,

You’ve gone out to the hospital a lot this week. Bath soon?

Entry #107 (Aug 27 2023)

Table of Contents

Crossroads of…
ට  School
ට  Work
ට  Life
ට  Games
ට  Plushie of the Week #103
ට  Song of the Week #80
ට  Writing Prompt of the Week #23
ට  Memory Snippet of the Week #87
ට  Dreams


Another week goes by without a final decision. I’m leaning toward cancelling at this point though, partially in light of some things that have come up since Mom went to hospital, even though she’s still doing well by all accounts. Either way I have to make a final decision by two Mondays from now, September 4th, but I also have to hand in a notice to vacate to my housing apartment complex management by next Friday, September 1st, so that’s kind of a mini-deadline along the way as well.

I also haven’t bought my plane tickets or gone down to see the doctor for amended prescription letters, both of which I need to do “soon” if I do want to go. I did buy a bunch of plastic storage containers that arrived this week though, and I also found a phone plan (Koodo, $15/month) that I’m okay with putting my phone number on for a year if I do go abroad, so I’m still progressing, just slowly.

The last three months since coming back from my Kyoto/Ritsumeikan trip have had me wondering now and then if I really want to go to Sophia, but I had no real reason to cancel either. But with Mom‘s stroke, I now feel sort of like the gods are telling me not to go abroad for a full-length study — COVID-19 has scuttled it twice (Japan in Fall and Winter 2021), CMPB/ICA not processing my paperwork has scuttled it twice (Singapore in Fall and Winter 2022), and this one seems to be a sign that I shouldn’t go on it either. And an excuse to get out if I want, that my weaker points over the past few months now appreciate. That’s still not necessarily a good reason to not go though, but I’m leaning toward cancelling at least.

While exploring all options, Dad did ask if postponement for a semester was an option. I said yes, but I’m not sure I want to go through that and apply for everything for a 6th time again, although I have everything written up and saved anyway and it would just be a matter of copy/pasting.


Again, my boss was away from work this week, so it was an especially quiet week at work even compared to the previous weeks. Minus last week, since he was away then too and I just copied that line from last week’s blog.

My boss will be back on Monday though, and I have a meeting with him that afternoon, I am guessing that I will have a clearer picture of whether I should stay or go and what the future of the team is after that meeting, and will probably use that as a big part of my final decision on whether to stay or go. In fact, I think I realized this week that all the negatives that I have for the option of staying are all tied to work and my feelings about the workplace and the stuff I do for work. So we’ll see.


So what does it mean if I stay? What doors will lock and what doors will unlock?

The door that will lock is that I will not be able to go overseas to study abroad, but I don’t think that’s a forever lock because I always have the option of resigning and going abroad to do a Masters program somewhere or something if I ever want to. In the meantime, I need to finish up my undergraduate degree here at the U of A, but I only have 3 courses left in that anyway. I do get class discounts while I’m working at the University, and there’s a good chance I will see if I can pivot to taking a course this Fall anyway to keep my student status active, because I want to take a vacation in the winter semester and so cannot have classes then. And if I don’t take a class in either fall or winter semesters, my student status will temporarily drop off and I have to reapply to the faculty again.

That vacation I mentioned would probably be sometime in January or February, and I would aim to cover 3 things that are high on my wishlist — the Sapporo Snow Festival from Feb 04-11, the Taiwan Sky Lantern Festival at some undetermined point in February, and visiting Zian and hopefully Huihan in Sydney, probably during Zian‘s winter semester break in Jan/Feb. I could also swing by South Korea and/or Japan if I wanted to for a week or so in between that, or see if I can acquire permission to visit Singapore, so that exact itinerary is still unknown. And I can be working while I do this, so income and working remotely will offset the prices of the trip while not burning too much vacation time even if I’m out wandering for a month.

I will also probably get a new computer sooner rather than later, give Dad my very old one to replace his even older dinosaur of a machine, and be able to start/progress on three goals that have been on hold for some time — working on my blog, taking online game development programming courses like Satinel has been doing in order to build some interesting games, and playing/being able to enjoy some games that I haven’t really been able to due to skill. I mean my older computer. Due to my older computer holding me back.

Of course none of these doors will permanently lock either even if I go abroad, but everything does get pushed back a few years if I do, not to mention my (relatively new) dream/goal of house ownership, but I have a finite number of years left before I (or my friends/family) either pass on, or become incapacitated in some way, or I just plain get bored of hanging out with friends (or them being able to hang out with me), playing games, etc, and this one year doesn’t seem all that worth it when held up against the remaining time I have to do all these things.

The sign next to me on my computer desk constantly reminds me to dream big and face forward, but I think in this case it takes as much courage to look my study abroad in the eye and say no to it, than it does to actually go on that, and the dreams I would chase from staying might well be a little bit bigger than the ones I would chase from going. It’s not confirmed yet though, so we’ll see. I might end up going anyway!

Outside of all that doom and gloom, this week I spent a bunch of time visiting Mom. I even brought along some food (homemade potato/carrot/onion soup) for her and she said she really liked it, and gulped down just about all of it, even though I found that it isn’t as good after one night in the fridge and a spell in the microwave compared to when its fresh. It pleased me that she enjoyed it though, I guess because hospital food is bland. Dad (and Jon/Kel, when they were here) also brought in food now and then for her and Dad was the one that suggested I try bringing in some of my soup.

Jon and Kel are out of the country this week, Kel for a longer period of time for work while Jon will be back in town next week. Both had prearranged trips planned for around the same time, just a couple weeks before when I would have been jetting off myself. Dad‘s been travelling back and forth by himself and causing all of us children a measure of worry because his eyesight is poor and his phone service is also poor (it only works around several central hub locations even within the city, or if he has wireless access) so we have to have him check in on the family group chat every night to make sure that he reaches home fine. And I’m not sure what I’d do if he doesn’t, as it would be hard to track him down. Missing persons report! Code yellow! (Code yellow is a hospital alert level for a missing/runaway patient, and a bit of an internal joke for us now.)

Anyway, my Friday trip to the hospital was a little eventful. On the way there, I met an Iranian girl at the Health Sciences LRT station who was trying to figure out the bus ticket/Arc transit card system. I explained it to her and then we chatted for a while. She had arrived in Edmonton two days ago as an international student and was going to be here four years for a post-grad degree. I couldn’t hear her name very well as we were on the train by then but I think she said her name was Aati (or Aa Ti?), though she did say that the Aa part was an abbreviation for a longer name.

She was also wearing a bright yellow hoodie with Japanese characters on it, which I commented on and she said she had bought from some store in Iran that had imported East Asian clothing but had no idea what it actually said. Neither did I, though, even though I could read it. It was fully written in hiragana, and read:


with the first character a different colour than all the others. There were no other designs, markings, etc on the shirt to indicate what it was. The first line reads “chuugo” and the second line reads “kukoukuu” and I said that neither line actually resolved into a Japanese word, but if the starting character from the second line was moved up to the end of the first line, then the first line would read “chuugoku”, or China/Chinese, and the second line meant aviation or high altitude. We shrugged about it though and had a good laugh, she said she was at least glad that it didn’t mean anything offensive or anything like that, she just was cold and only had a couple long-sleeved shirts with her at that point. Oh boy, will she be in for a culture shock once winter arrives! I said that I was from Singapore but I had been here for 20 years and she laughed and said that I was wearing a short-sleeved blouse so I was obviously well accustomed to the temperature here.

We chatted for a bit more before she arrived at her stop and left. It then hit me what her shirt meant — and a quick Google search confirmed it — Chuugoku Koukuu is the Japanese translation for Air China. Oh well, she was gone by that point, and likely will never see this blog to realize that. But just in case she does Google up the words on her shirt at some point, maybe she’ll find this, heh. Why the heck was the “ku” character on the start of the second line instead of the end of the first line though?

Also, on the way back on Friday, I stopped by the dollar store to pick up an instant noodles bowl for the next day. Cheap and quite lovely really. While walking by a woman in a shopping cart, she plonked down a 12-pack of Coke into it, and we were both aghast when one of the corner cans split and started spraying out a foam of carbonated drink over the floor. Some of it got onto my right leg and the bottom right part of my skirt as well. We had a good chuckle over that and I was nearly home by that point anyway so it wasn’t much of an inconvenience, but seriously, what were the odds that it would burst right as I walked by the cart?

Here are some pictures from the week that I wanted to share. Firstly, from last Sunday, Sep 20th, at 7:06 pm, someone going by while giving their kid a piggyback ride:

Then on the 24th, this last Thursday, a duck masquerading as a banana and hiding in the banana stand in the local Safeway store.

Friday morning, 4:22 am, I saw a new side of my apartment complex, covered in fog (possibly smoke-related, not sure):

The phone camera is better than the naked eye, it was a little bit foggier in person than in that picture, but close enough.

And later that afternoon, I took a picture of a flowery power outstation box or something by an LRT station.

That message on the orange sign, although written in English, sure felt like Greek. “Warning: Only a floating neutral generator may be used to supply standby power through the generator receptable”


I’ve considered opening up a new section of the blog, simply entitled “Item of the Week”… where I can take and post a photograph of an item, either that I own or that I run across while wandering the world. Just as sort of a memento or keepsake, as items and things tend to be somewhat transient too and nothing here is going to be around 200-400 years from now. Plus I look at old family/house photographs and see old items in it and go “Hey.. I remember that book/clothing/ornament/toy/appliance!” once in a while. And it would be nice to have a personal record of something that I could look back on a few years in the future even if I’ve thrown said item away by then.

My blog is plenty long already each week though. I kind of want to end a section or two too, or at least make them occasional. Maybe the plushie or song one. But then it wouldn’t really be “of the week” anymore, would it?

Oh, and I also bought an AncestryDNA kit this week because I procrastinated on that so long that the kits went on Labour Day sale. It’ll be here in 7-10 days I think, so even if I do end up going to Japan, it will be here and sent back to them before that date hits.


In terms of co-op games, Satinel and I played a little bit of Risk of Rain on Sunday night (after I had already published my blog), and then for the rest of the week, we dabbled on and off in Streets of Rogue instead. We both have 100% achievements in the game already, so we were mostly working on finishing characters’ Big Quests (local), which are character-specific quests that have a mini-objective each level on the run that you have to fulfil.

Mostly, Satinel carried me and rezzed me a lot.

And we played AMQ, of course, I don’t mention that but we play that nearly every day of every week. Although we played it less than usual this week, partly due to time issues from going to the (much further) hospital several times this week, and due to connection problems with the game’s video and audio host.

From a single-player perspective, I played at least a tiny bit of Boneraiser Minions, Labyrinth of Refrain: Coven of Dusk, Yamafuda! 2nd station, Logistical 3: Earth, and Cult of the Lamb, the latter of which I bought when it was on sale and then proceeded to form a Cult of Tigey. I also ended up downloading Little Alchemy 2 on the phone and tapping around on that while on my bus or train trips to and from the hospital.

(If you see a cultist in there without a name that corresponds to a Plushie of the Week, it’s because I figure I will need someone to sacrifice at some point, and don’t want to sacrifice a real plushie. Or at least not a real plushie yet anyway.

Plushie of the Week #103 – Woodstock

Meet Woodstock! Woodstock of Charlie Brown fame.


Other side:

Held aloft:

Tags? What tags? They’re long gone — this is actually one of our oldest plushies as well, definitely in the top 10, possibly top 5. Along with Doggy, this is one of Jon‘s original plushies, and so probably dates back all the way to around 1993 or so. I don’t remember if we had this plushie before Jon came into the world or not — I don’t think we did, but we might have. At any rate I remember a little Jon lying in a little bed with a little pillow and bolster, and Woodstock and Doggy, his two original plushies, next to him. Woodstock spent a lot of the time on the plushie chair in Edmonton 4012, as well as on Jon‘s bed itself.

Woodstock is not in any of the earlier or even more current group plushie pictures that we have, but he is in this particular shot from 1997:

As per My Diary #020, the Tampines 294 blog post page. He’s visible next to one of the Santa Claus plushies in the bottom bunk of the double-decker bed.

Song of the Week #80

Title: Semogia Bahagia
Artist: Zubir Said (composer)

Parts of this song have been ingrained in my mind for so long that I could recall enough of it to easily Google it up, but I had no idea what the history of the song was or what the lyrics actually meant until I looked it up today for this writeup. This is apparently a Children’s Day song in Singapore, and according to its Wikipedia page, was written by the same person who penned Singapore’s national anthem amd has been Singapore’s “official” Children’s Day song since 1961. Well, that would explain why I had heard it so many times that I know it so well despite not understanding Malay as a language.

There are many, many versions of this song, the one most ingrained in my mind being from a chorus of children singing it, but the one in the video below is a video published by one of the Singapore government accounts on YouTube, and seems about as music video-ey as it gets, so it’s probably the right one to feature here. It’s both rather nostalgic and a little poignant as well, so it was well-made. Other versions include this one, which is also from the same YouTube account and features English translations of the lyrics. More lyrics and other versions and a bit about the history of the composer can also be found on this page (local).

I don’t have any specific memories of the song, but it is a “childhood song” for me, and with Mom being in the hospital and all us grown-up children having plans to leave the country this month, this seemed like as good a time as any to feature it here.

Writing Prompt of the Week #23

This week’s writing prompt reads:

“Describe your parents’ parenting style. Tell a story that shows how much (or how little) freedom you had.”

The example I like to quote for this one has already been stated — the Sentosa Chalet incident in 1998, which I talked about in My Diary #056, something I still resent them slightly for to this day. Not as much anymore ever since I’ve been able to bury most of my inner demons by returning to Singapore last year, though.

Other than that, they were strict but also did grant a measure of freedom that I appreciated, and being in the Gifted Education Programme, as well as someone who never really required much in the way of tutoring (except in Chinese, which I did a bit of in Yishun 723), they usually turned a blind eye to whatever I was doing after school as long as I was back by 6pm or so. They also did let me try new things if I wanted, like this tonic water incident that I still remember, and they would step in and bail me out sometimes if I were in over my head, like in the Lion Dance Troupe incident detailed here.

Their philosophy is largely that within reason, they’ll let us do what we want to without stepping in to enforce their personal beliefs or way of life too much, and overall that seems to have raised a pretty good family unit, as everyone likes each other and seems to have no problem coming together when needed (like with Mom‘s current hospital stay). The story that probably best illustrates this is just their reaction when I first told them about my transgender status — this was after I had talked to the University doctor I used to get a referral to the gender therapist, but well before I had actually seen the gender therapist and well before I had actually even brought up the issue at work, never mind transitioned there. So this would have been in early 2011, before I moved out of the family home in July, but after I contacted my doctor in April.

That day, I had gotten a ride home from Dad after work, and I told him in the family minivan on the way home, at which point he sat in stony silence for a while, thinking about it, before he said that it was my choice and that he would speak to Mom about it. He wasn’t fully against it, but wasn’t fully supportive either, I mean, he was fairly conservative and I had just dropped this bombshell on him. He and Mom had a conversation away from Kel and Jon in the evening, and then they came up to the main hall where I was using the computer, to talk to me. I don’t remember what was said, but I do remember that Mom was also cautiously supportive, they wanted to know about my plans for how to transition at work and so on, and what steps I had already taken to achieve this goal.

I was still in the preliminary stage of research at that point, but the overall message I got from them was that I was free to pursue it if it brought me happiness but they wanted me to think it over very carefully and make sure I was making the right choice. There was also a side conversation here on what to do with Kel and JonDad said in the end that they would handle telling the two of them when the time was right. And they eventually did so, though I do not know when this happened or what transpired in that conversation. They also said that they would not be telling our relatives in Singapore or close family friends in Edmonton about it as they weren’t sure what their reactions would be yet.

Either way, I used this as a pretext to finally move out, as I needed more privacy as part of the process as well, so I moved out three months later to Edmonton 205, where I’ve been ever since. Dad helped me look out for the place and handled the rental agreement initially as well, while Mom helped slowly transfer control of my finances over to me. Those days all seem so long ago now.

Funnily enough, in the past week, Dad said that he had told the social worker in charge of Mom‘s case about me, as part of describing our family to her, and she said that he obviously was proud of the family or something like that, as she found that most people would still not divulge something like that even to her. One thing led to another and he told me that although he still thinks it was better to not tell the extended family back home about it, as they tended to be gossipy and there were several indivuduals there whom he felt from talking to them would not be supportive of it, he was going to tell a close family friend (and by extension his wife and kids) that we had here about my transition, and I said I was perfectly ok with that!

I hadn’t seen this family friend for ages, though they make free food for us all the time (I actually had some this weekend from them, given via proxy through my father) and apparently had come to visit Mom in hospital on a day where I wasn’t around either.

Memory Snippet of the Week #87

Back in Singapore, we only ever really ate from two fast food places — KFC and McDonalds. Most of my McDonalds memories are with my Dunman friends in the Kallang McDonalds that I’ve talked about before, though not all — we have some McD Happy Meal toys and such from childhood that I remember too, like little Birdie and Grimace toy figures and a red and white box of chips that unfolded into a robot.

But never mind all that.

For KFC, my memories of this are specifically with my family, especially Mom. The KFC we frequented the most was located at the Tampines (by the way, pronounced Tamm-puh-nees, not Tahm-pines) bus interchange, but like the Kallang McDonalds above, it’s gone now — I checked when I was there in Singapore last year — but my vague memories of it still remain.

There are two songs that strongly remind me of the Tampines bus interchange and by extension the KFC here, I Like Chopin by Gazebo and Lady Rain by Indecent Obsession, and I am glad to see that from the other end, in both their featured Song of the Week segments in My Diary #075 and My Diary #079 respectively, I had mentioned that memory as well.

A strong memory of this KFC in particular that I have is ordering the KFC Zinger burgers here when they were first released in Singapore, sometime in the 90s. We moved to Tampines in 1996 or 1997 but the Internet says it was released and developed and launched by KFC Singapore in 1993 (local), so the timeline doesn’t really add up with my memory, but it’s possible that we happened to come here to order it anyway or that I’m mixing it up with my first experience with the burger when we first moved to Tampines instead. That’s really cool though, that KFC Singapore developed that burger that I love. Pandering to the home market I guess.

But that’s not even my favourite KFC dish. That honour goes to what is known in Singapore and other countries as Whipped Potato, though in the USA and Canada it’s known as Mashed Potato and does not come with gravy all over it by default. It’s one of their staple side dishes, and we were really disappointed when we first came to Canada in 1999 and found that the KFCs here did not sell whipped potato and had no idea what we were talking about. We did find mashed potato, and it was close but didn’t come with gravy, though we were dimly aware that the correct gravy also could be bought from KFC for an additional price. Still, due to that additional price and the helpings/container being smaller in general, we never felt it was worth it and stopped patronizing KFC.

(We also stopped patronizing McDonalds — largely because we found both McD and KFC fries and burgers in Canada tended to be extremely poorly made, compared to what we had in Singapore — the fries from both companies in particular were sometimes soft and dull and a little disgusting compared to the fresh and crisp ones we always got back home. The helpings were also smaller and the prices were higher, a theme that continues today.)

Anyway, fast forward to Mom‘s hospital trip here in Canada this last month, and Dad stopped by KFC a couple times to get her some mashed potatoes and gravy as something that could be easily eaten and that she (and the rest of the family, for when she couldn’t finish a bowl by herself) liked eating. It was $6 for what was basically a medium portion of the mashed potatoes (the large portion containers don’t even *exist* in Canada) and apparently $5 for a small tub of gravy to add to the potato to make the familiar whipped potato taste again. Crazy, cut-throat prices.

But then Dad learnt something from one of the KFC attendants — instead of buying the mashed potato and then buying the gravy separately, one could actually just buy the mashed potato and request free gravy on top of it. The KFC stores we occasionally frequented before, particularly the one at Southgate Mall, never told us/him this and would always just charge us/him for the mashed potato (without gravy) and then gravy separately on top of that, even if that was all we were ordering. Wow, we were a mix of blown away and pissed off. Although more the former than the latter, since we had eaten it so infrequently over the last two decades anyway.

Upon hearing this, I even went back to KFC Southgate to test this out, and it worked — for $7.02 CAD, the base price of a medium container of mashed potatoes, they gave me the mashed potatoes, and free gravy on top of it. And all I had to ask was for mashed potatoes with gravy on top.

Cool. That is very much whipped potato.

Prices are crazy though, since a container larger than this back in the late 90s in Singapore would have cost just $2. I mean, that isn’t even real mashed potato in the mashed potato, it’s no secret (local) that KFC uses some sort of instant potato mix, and always has, during my lifetime at least, and that’s perfectly fine by me. But really? $7 for such a pathetic bowl? And when I tried ordering a Zinger meal and changed the side dish to “mashed potatoes with gravy”, the order came to $12.90 after tax for a zinger, a cup of ice tea, and this pathetic little bowl:

Apparently I *couldn’t* order a Zinger burger with the larger (medium-sized) mashed potato bowl with gravy here in Canada except by ordering them as two separate items, which would come to over $15. For a stupid burger and a stupid bowl of instant potato mix. Food price inflation is pretty serious here, as it’s climbing together with electricity and grocery prices, along with all sorts of other services, with no end in sight, while companies are posting record profits and wages are stagnating and not keeping up with inflation. Capitalism abuse in North America sucks, and something bad’s going to happen to the economy within the next couple years.


For some reason, I had tons of remembered dreams this week, after a few poor weeks prior. How strange!

Aug 22 2023

Dream 1

  • This first dream was a bit of a snippet. There was a team of four, one burly human, two younger kids, and a walking anthropomorphic bear. At night, they were robbers that operated by crossing the city on the rooftops of houses, entering and then escaping from their target buildings that way. They learnt this by watching a movie about it where a woman did the same thing, whose events felt like I had seen before in a previous unrecorded dream of mine.
  • In the daytime, this group of four operated a bank that loaned out money. Three of them worked stoically from behind vertical bars at a counter area in a small rectangular room, while the bear worked as a bouncer for them. One set of customers recognized them from a previous night robbery and wanted to fight them, then they saw the bear behind the door that was between the counter area and the customer area. They seemed to recognize him, muttered something along the lines that they guess that he had found a decently respectable day job after all, and then left without causing a scene.

Dream 2

  • This dream involved something about a city with strong air and weak air, and how Mom had not been able to breathe strong air for about 20 years but Dad and I could with no issue. More specifically, we discovered that the city had different air flows in different parts of the city, and some air flows had strong air and some had weak air, which I tried and could tell that it was a bit ‘hollow’, it was slightly harder to breathe it and I guessed it was because it contained slightly less oxygen.
  • Due to that, we discovered that the difference in what we experienced was due to our daily commute around the city and the specific paths we took as we walked through the city, if Mom simply had walked 20 steps left of her usual path every morning through downtown, then she would have been constantly walking through the strong air flow instead of the weak one. I walked through a two-sided cave (basically a tunnel, but it was completely natural and had a couple of gentle turns in it) that stretched through downtown with Mom, where she could try breathing the strong air, and she enjoyed both the walk and the talk that we had, and the breathing that she could do while doing it.
  • The strong air was also somehow involved with me leaving my work, and my ability to be rehired later. Ronnie said that I would always be part of the team even if I left and joined another notice board and started posting daily jokes there.

Dream 3

  • This dream involved a group of superheroes, which I was part of, protecting a camp area or fortress with wooden palisade walls from two strong armies that were currently attacking us, one from the west and one from the east or north. We had a regular army within the walls as well, though it was only really equivalent to about one of the attacking armies in terms of troop count.
  • We also had traps laid out, particularly along the west side, where we had a boiling water trap, and then an inner cul-de-sac pocket just inside the outer door where the boiling water trap was set up, with the idea that we would kill some of the army with the boiling water trap as they attacked, then pretend that we were going to abandon that section of the outer wall and do a fake fall back, letting the army think they had overpowered the defences there, only to find themselves in a cramped circular arena area with our real walls surrounding it where we could attack them from, while the troops outside continued to surge in and trap the ones that had already entered and been encircled.
  • At one point, I was just outside a door in the south palisade wall, and that led to a stairwell somewhere in the middle levels of a building, with steps leading downwards, and a place halfway down toward the next landing that I personally could use to teleport to and fro from somewhere. But it was somehow dangerous, and although I was waiting for something to happen there, I teleported to that place on accident while I wasn’t paying close attention, and then quickly teleported back once I realized what had happened.
  • Kel convinced me to come inside the fort to wait instead, so I did so, watching the stairwell from just inside the south door. Just after I came in, an alien with a blue aura masquerading as a human came and pretended he needed help, hailing me and trying to trick me into verbally inviting him into the fort, since his kind apparently needed permission in order to invade another person’s territory. I told him that I wasn’t fooled and silently thanked Kel for making sure I was already inside, as I would likely have not been able to say no to his request for help if he had approached me when I was outside.
  • There were also commentators overseeing the battle that could watch and announce on events on both sides of the wall, and at one point they got really excited when all of us superheroes got together and travelled about as a single unit. Our leader, a pretty woman who could float in the air, said she had realized that her Phoenix powers could be used to awaken some further power in her if she sent a letter to her Master requesting it, and one of the other heroes, a shorter girl, conjured a sheet of parchment, made weird foreign script appeared on it, then rolled up their parchment and sent it flying off thru the air toward its destination. The commentators could read the letter so they realized what was happening, and explained all of it over the TV show, and I was wondering if that would tip off the outside armies too if they had people watching the show for intel as well. But they couldn’t stop it from happening anyway since the scroll had already flown off toward where our leader’s Master stayed.

Dream 4

  • I was at a supermarket in Japan where the cashier knew both English and Japanese. I was trying to pay for something and using my Pasmo cash card in lieu of my Canadian credit card to pay, and he exclaimed in surprise that I basically had two credit cards. However I had forgotten the pincode for the second card that I was trying to use, so the card reader declined it and asked me to swipe again or cancel.
  • After that first time that I got it wrong I was pretty sure I knew what the correct pincode actually was though, but I had to find my card to swipe it again and couldn’t do so for some reason. The cashier told me to take my time and said that he’d use the cash register on the other side of his counter for the moment.
  • While fumbling around, two guys travelling by tried to attack me and pin me down on the ground and fondle me, but I fought them off and they left. Another two guys came along, one super fat and one super scrawny, and they tried to steal my cat coin purse and my cardholder when I was distracted. I caught the fat guy trying to walk off with my cat coin purse and tackled him, wrestling him down to the ground, and then biting him in disgust until he let go of the purse.
  • Later, I was in school and our teacher had gathered all the classes together and said that she was going to teach us about a general life/game rule that most of us were not properly following, via a game of soccer. The rule stated that we couldn’t travel safely into places with a certain sort of shadow.
  • She asked for 22 boys to volunteer to play a game of soccer, and several stood up. She then also volunteered a few other boys who had better grades since they were role model students, to make up the remainder she needed. This included Michael from McNally, who had asked why he didn’t pick him as he had really good grades, so she looked at him and picked him too as she hadn’t actually finished picking yet.
  • Even though it was 11 boys a side for the soccer game, everyone was additionally paired up into groups of 2 or 3, and this pairing was written on a board. I recognized Justin (from Rosyth and Dunman)’s name out there, as well as David Beckham. I also realized that both pairs of guys that tried to do things to me at the cash register earlier were playing in the game, and I loudly exclaimed this to my two friends seated next to me, making sure that all the random people around me could hear that too. I learnt that the first pair of guys were recently in prison and had just gotten out from it.
  • The aim of the game was not just a soccer match, there were also a pile of wooden fantasy torches at the side of the field by the left touchline. The field itself was covered in various shadows due to the partial roof of the stadium and all the spotlights (and the sun) above. The female teacher, who was now also the referee, kept on calling penalties for the boys who stepped in shadows and dribbled across one shadow to another even though they looked exactly like the same shadow, and I realized that the better players needed the weaker ones to grab torches and light the way for them so that they could properly see the borders between the shadows and dribble the ball without crossing the shadows.
Aug 23 2023
  • I dreamt that our entire family moved into a small apartment together. I travelled there together with Dad on a train on the day that we were moving in, and we had a minor argument about something or other, I don’t remember exactly what. There were a bunch of other minor plotlines on that first day involving different ways to reach the house or neighbourhood shops around the house as well.
  • One plotline I remembered was something about girls slipping urine cubes in the front of their underwear to help keep their underwear clean — they were basically tiny styrofoam cubes that could soak up urine if any should leak out, and then could be washed and reused. Some other girl, who was apparently a princess, had left hers behind in some toilet, and when I found it and offered it back to her she was embarrassed and said I could keep it, as she had already gotten a replacement one. The tabloids somehow picked up on this and ran a story that said that a princess had relinquished her old royal urine cube and someone else had now gotten hold of it and how it was a once in a lifetime thing. I didn’t care for it.
  • Once we were settled in in our new apartment, I had a separate room of my own away from my parents and siblings, and I went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up around 7 to 8 am from loud noises outside. I thought my parents had both gone to work already, but I saw Mom seated in the kitchen, and Auntie Esther seated on a chair by the front door, just inside the apartment and against the wall.
  • The noises were coming from outside the front door, which was ajar, so I poked my head out and saw Kel and Jon seated around a large neighbourhood stone table just outside the front door, with several neighbourhood kids, playing a raucous game of cards or something. Next to the table, Dad was seated on a single person sofa set up against the wall, and there was another two-seater sofa against the wall next to and perpendicular to Dad‘s single-seat sofa. Uncle Ivan and Uncle Robert were seated on that one, and Dad was chatting to them.
  • I greeted them, they greeted me back, and they seemed to know that my name was Jessica so I looked at Dad quizzically and he shook his head to indicate that he hadn’t told them about my transition yet. He began to talk to them about it though, and I withdrew my head and went back into the house.
  • I greeted Auntie Esther again, who was too far to hear Dad‘s explanation, and introduced myself as Jessica too. She smiled and asked if I had learnt anything about the house in my stay so far and I quipped that I learnt I should keep my bedroom door closed at night because sound seems to get amplified in the morning.
  • I pulled up the character sheets of Auntie and the two Uncles, and upgraded one of their skills from level 6 to 10 for all three of them. I was apparently surprised by this, as even though Dad was telling the two uncles about my transition, and my auntie here had no idea, I could still upgrade all of them to the same level. I had expected to run out of skill points for Auntie Esther before I could upgrade her from 9 to 10 due to the lack of information that she had.
Aug 25 2023

Dream 1

  • Snippet: I don’t remember the context, but I remember waiting for a bus at a bus stop with two other people that I vaguely knew but didn’t talk to, and then deciding to not wait any longer and walking some of the way to the destination myself. I was also dressed in a bright pink Bocchi the Rock! sweater and was feeling a bit down or depressed for some reason. Also, there was an ongoing plot in effect where I and/or some others were watching out for some woman’s overall power levels to reach dangerous overall levels, in order to try to prevent some disaster.

Dream 2

  • Later on, in a separate dream after waking up and falling asleep again, there was a scene where I was in a house with Dad and Mom and making soup for Dad to try. He tried it but said that it was some sort of seasonal soup item that he had already tried a few months ago from Kel and Jon. The wrapper for the soup can was also wrapped around the cooking pot for some reason, I noticed afterwards. There was also a scene around there where I dreamt that ticket prices to Japan had spiked for the weekend that I was planning to leave. The cheapest tickets were $3000-$5000 for the weekend and $1700 the Monday after the weekend.
  • Within that dream, I also went out with Dad, Jon, and Kel, and we took a car somewhere and met a Japanese prince downtown that Kel was friends with. While hanging out with him, she “borrowed” (stole) his helicopter, which was a cramped one-seater but that we both could fit into, with Kel on the left side of the seat and handling the steering wheel while I was on the right side and putting my feet on a set of bicycle pedals that one could power the helicopter with. We flew off, with the prince complaining that we had taken the helicopter and that he didn’t know me. Kel said that I was family and trustworthy and he could check my Steam profile if he wanted.
  • Somewhere around here, I also agreed and said something similar to Jon‘s girlfriend, who was abroad with him (even though he was here with us) — I said that I was proud to have him as my little brother and a very nice and loyal person who always did the right thing, but that I would always consider him my little baby brother. Our entire family had been raised right though and I was thankful for that.
  • Anyway, my shoes were a bit bigger than the room around the pedals and couldn’t really fit on them to push the pedals well, but somehow I cycled enough for the plane to go aloft anyway. I asked if I had to continue pedalling in the air and Kel said yes, but I had already stopped and the helicopter continued flying anyway. Eventually though its nose pointed downwards and it started to dive, and even though I pedalled and Kel pulled on the steering wheel, it wouldn’t come up again and crashed down onto the ground.
  • It had some sort of crash safety mechanism built in though, so even as it approached the ground, it slowed down instead of speeding up, and its nose eventually lightly bounced along the ground like it was nudging it, at a speed that was just above zero, before coming to a complete halt in an upright position. Kel got out to stretch her legs, so I did so as well, and Dad and Jon, who were still in the car but had been following us via road, caught up and stopped as well.
  • We were next to a partially covered building with storefronts on a bottom floor that looked like a mini void deck, but it was the rural part of town and there were just a couple of old men hanging around outside the stores. Between us and them was a mini flower bed. Dad, Kel, and I approached the flowerbed, by the left door of the helicopter, and Dad said that he had something to tell me so I approached him.
  • But instead, he extended his hand and gave me a couple of wrapped sweets in rectangular wrappers, and a couple of used, empty wrappers. Kel laughed and also added a couple more pieces of paper into my hand. I was confused for a moment and then realized that he didn’t actually have anything to tell me, but wanted me to help throw away those sweets. I told them both that there was a public garbage bin just on the other side of the flower bed, something like five steps away, and were they really that lazy. But they had to go through the flowerbed to do it, and there were a couple buzzing bees around the flowerbed, so I reasoned that maybe that was why they didn’t want to do it. Or they were just lazy.
  • Dad said that I shouldn’t make too big of a fuss or take too long to do it or Jon would find out, and he wouldn’t like us throwing the sweets away, even though they were expired. I lurched across the flowerbed, almost tripping as I did so and trying to avoid the bees but bracing myself for a sting. It never came. I threw away the garbage and started taking a big loop around the flowerbed to the south to get back to the helicopter and car without trampling over the flowers again. I thought to myself that this time maybe I’d ride in the car instead of using the helicopter again.

Dream 3

  • In another separate dream, after a bit about a music release date and Mom‘s hospital release date that I don’t remember much of, there was a weird scene where I watched a large machine that looked like a professional printer make a giant half-cake, whose diameter was over a meter long, inside a huge glass tank. Most of the cake was already made, but the machine was trying to add chocolate topping/taste to it, and what it did was to blow off its existing chocolate topping, with a giant fan, into a large metal bin, then use some sort of suction to suck up all the chocolate chips for use later onto a paper plate which floated around in mid-air.
  • The giant half-moon cake then had a half-moon shaped hole on top where the chocolate was resting, and the printer shifted the cake over a meter or so to where a nozzle pointed down at it, and the nozzle let loose a thick stream of liquid chocolate onto the cake. Once the hole on the cake was covered in chocolate, the machine let loose another weird watery liquid which covered the entire cake and the tray it was on, which was apparently done to compress and pack the flavour in, before the machine shifted the cake yet again to the other side of the glass tank, next to a diagonal ramp.
  • The tank was meant to be emptied of that strange liquid here, and a baker who was standing on the other side of the machine, with help from Kel on my side on the machine who seemed to be familiar with the process, turned a crank which lifted and tilted the cake tray enough so that the watery liquid sloshed out of the tray and down the diagonal ramp, out of the machine. The baker then turned the crank the other way, which lowered the cake tray back down to a horizontal position, and the machine moved the cake back to its original position, before spraying the chocolate chip topping back on.
  • This was apparently repeated a couple times during the cake-making process, which explained why the cake had pre-existing chocolate topping to be cleared off at the start of the process.
Aug 26 2023
  • I remember taking a very, very long train ride, across four different cities or city areas at the least. I made several stops at train stations along the way. At one point I nodded off and woke up again (within my dream) but lost my new Samsung phone and could not locate it. I still had an old phone with a cracked screen with me though but didn’t want to resort to using it. I got off the train at a remote train station to try to find a station phone to use, then wondered if I should have tried to remain on that original train instead as it was possible the phone was still somewhere on it. Oh well. I got onto the next train again after that.
  • At another point I got off the train to visit a studio and attend some course there, there were about 20 staff members there who began to do introductions so I pulled out a notebook and began writing all their names down. One of the studio’s employees was missing that day and they said he was barely ever in. He was a composer who had come up with some semi-famous instrumental tracks though.
  • There were about 20 or so of us students as well but at one point we were told to move from the back of the room to sit by some rugs near a computer by the front and only 6 of us ended up there, everyone else who came along remained standing near the back of the room. I looked at two other girls who were seated up front with me, both of them were Chinese and one of them had an interesting and rare English first name, though I forget what it was. It was seven letters long though. Two of the staff members also had the same name as each other, I also forget what it was but it was 5 letters long, possibly Colin.
  • At another train station in my dream I was on a high floor of a tall building with some other people and an immortal monster was chasing our group. I volunteered to get its attention and draw it back down to the ground floor and then tried to lose it from there, as I knew that it could not catch me.
Aug 27 2023
  • Our family was visiting another city, and was scheduled to attend an event at night with a few family friends. This event was a free celestial gazing event held at some downtown venue, admission was free and lots of dinner was provided as well, but a ticket was required and each ticketholder could bring along one guest per ticket at first, but this was changed on the final day before the event so we could bring as many guests as we wanted.
  • The location was set in a downtown area, and there was an indoors area in a building where we could wait, as well as outdoor fenced concrete yard areas to the east and west where we could gather and have a great view of the sky. The fenced areas were one storey up from street level, and from the street pavement itself there were two ramps leading up to the east and west fenced areas respectively.
  • We arrived early to grab some seats, and Jon and I began playing what seemed to be a game of Civilization 4 along the square tiles built into the wall of the room we were in, where each tile represented a square on the map. We could see cities, forests, resources, and more painted along the entire room. He had discovered a forested area full of coal between where his starting city was and where mine was, and while I wanted some of that as well, he requested that I look elsewhere as he said that he wanted all that coal but that that would be all the resources he would need for the game.
  • So I went another way on the map to look for other resources. Each tile on the wall was very small, about the size of a fingernail, and we could apparently move about 10 squares per turn, but turns were asynchronous, in that we didn’t have to wait for the other player to move, and even when at one point I stumbled upon a treant near the end of my 10 squares in a turn, I just ignored it and took another turn and moved 10 more squares away in a hurry.
  • Eventually, I traced myself along the wall into the attached washroom, and there I found two medical containers to the left and a right of a wall mirror that was above a deep, white sink. Opening the two containers, I found seven or eight little bottles of medicine, including iodine, and took them out to bring back to my home base as resources.
  • Heading back out to my base and depositing them, I also noticed that we could place new cities but that each location was assigned a point score between 1-5, and that existing locations also had a similar score that I could examine, but that it was very hard to actually get a perfect score of 5. I kept finding locations that were within 2 tiles of 3 different resources, and querying the score in that location, only to find that it scored between 4.3 to 4.7 points at most. Dad eventually pointed to a location behind me which was within 2 tiles of 5 different resources, and that was worth a perfect 5.
  • I had some sort of minor argument with Dad as well where I had been talking about a personal friend to someone on the phone and had been coy about their gender to break some misconception that they had, to the point where both the someone on the phone, as well as Dad who was listening in, thought that I was speaking about a female. I told the person on the phone at the end of the conversation that no, they were male, and hung up, but Dad wasn’t satisfied with that and kept on peppering me with questions until I told him that the person I was talking about was Zixiang and that Dad had met him before.
  • Anyway, the time slowly ticked on toward the celestial event. There were lots of clouds in the sky, but no one was worried, and people were slowly trickling into the event. I didn’t know most of the people here, but we were expecting Uncle Droy and Auntie Stella to show up as well, plus their children, and a couple relatives from Singapore, all of which happened to be also visiting in the area. I also heard that Professor Liu was going to be driving over from the University that he was now working at, and was going to watch out for him to arrive, but never did see him.
  • There was some discussion as to which yard would be the best one to see the event from. The western yard had a small booth set up at the end where some people were selling some sort of lottery tickets at, but I only briefly went there to look at what was happening before wandering off. The eastern yard had lots of tables set up and some food was occasionally wheeled out to the patrons there from a kitchen by waiters pushing food carts.
  • Inside the room, there were ceiling lights that were turned on, and I requested to turn them off at some point so that we could see the outside better, but there was a mother and her 5-6 year old child who we had become acquaintances with and who didn’t want it to be turned off because her child would nod off and fall asleep since it was so late. So I wandered out and back and forth between the two yards, keeping my eyes on the sky.
  • Our invited family friends eventually arrived too, and I realized it would be a bit awkward meeting them as Jessica. Dad introduced me as his eldest daughter, but no one seemed to understand what that implied in terms of my gender transition, and the family relative, whom I recognized but did not know the name of, said that he had not met me before and welcomed me to the family, after making an assumption that I must have been adopted. I left my situation for Dad to explain it to them later on if he wanted.
  • The clouds in the sky turned from a dark hue that reflected the city lights into a reddish hue at this point, though there were breaks in the clouds where we could see stars on the western side still. The clouds on the eastern side were very dense and the sky beyond was not visible, but we weren’t sure what type of astronomical event was going to happen nonetheless.
  • Suddenly, I saw something glowing and popping into and out of view to the east. Intrigued, I looked closer at it, but noticed that the thing popping in and out was not very far away and was superimposed in front of a tall building further in the background, so whatever it was, it wasn’t a celestial event. The dream point of view shifted over there and I then saw what it was — there was a performer troupe there, made up of two guys and a girl from the local University, with one guy being the announcer, and one guy pulling on a set of near-invisible strings, twelve of them or so, attached to the girl like a puppet, which lifted her about ten metres in the air so she could dance around and perform for the gathered audience. That girl’s form was what we were seeing from the eastern yard. Weird.
  • Snapping back to the eastern yard, more time passed, and then I saw the densely-packed red clouds start to pulsate majestically in weird shapes, and I alerted my family. Huge square and round portions of the clouds shimmered, then winked out of existence briefly, disappearing into a wisp of smoke and briefly showing us the clear sky behind it, which had regular stars, shooting stars, and fantastically large planets. The clouds then poofed back into existence before another seemingly random portion of the clouds began to pulsate and shimmer and then disappear briefly again.
  • There was an implication that aliens were causing this celestial event, or at least some sort of force beyond our comprehension. At one point, the scene shifted to an employee room in a bank, which was apparently sponsoring this free event, and I learnt that they had always planned to make this open to whoever wanted to come, but didn’t want to be overwhelmed with people who just wanted free food, which was why they had only printed and given out 300 free tickets for the event and said that those ticketholders could only bring one guest, until the last day, by which point the guests could still bring whoever they wanted but it was too late for the news to catch wind of the free food event and publicize it to everyone.
  • One of the bank employees also was glitched and had two heads, one regular but slightly deformed head and one a greenish alien-like replica, and she could mostly control herself and hide the second head in public, but this event would produce some sort of energy that would help her and others like her better control her physical form and hide her identity.

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