What is this?
This is a.. let’s use the term fanfic, written by some girls in one of the two Dunman High GEP classes in my cohort, featuring fantasy-esque, anonymized versions of themselves or other people. It’s so obfuscated that I’m not actually sure who the two main writers are, although I initially suspected someone from the Rachel/Sandra/Kaiting/Huihan array. That’s not guaranteed though, because most of the people in the story that I know of are in our class, and both Rachel and Sandra, my first guesses as to the author, were in the other class. Perhaps it was Debbie, or Valerie, or Jean, or…
I do know who some of the other characters allude to — Sleepingbaby is Eileen, the Penguin is Eugene, and I’m probably the Pegasus (if so — hey, I was already a She there!). Or that might have referred to someone else, possibly Sandra if this was the case, although again, other class. I did use the noble pegasus as my moniker/symbol a bunch in Sec School, I remember being called the Math Pegasus for reasons, and it’s still my favourite fantasy creature, so I’m claiming this reference regardless.
I have no idea who Woodlark, Rynix, and Leapt were, or were supposed to represent, though. Although the reference to the tie possibly pins Woodlark to being either Debbie or Valerie, as they were our cohort’s only two prefects, and were mandated to wear the school tie every day (everyone else wore it once a week, I believe).
This document’s timestamp in my archives is May 30 2004, however that’s obviously not the case — everyone was long graduated by then, and there is a dated copyright stamp at the bottom of the actual story in the Word file that says:
©1999 Woodlark and Rynix
All Rights Reserved.
I also found it in a folder with a bunch of other (picture and html) files dated Jun 09 1998, Jul 08 1998, Jan 31 1999, Jan 02 2000, May 30 2000, and Dec 24 2002, but the bulk of the other files (9 out of 16) are dated Jan 31 1999, with two on Jul 08 1998, two on Jan 02 2000, and one on every other listed date, so I’m going to pin this one right on Jan 31 1999 as well.
Woodlark held her guitar, ready to poke Sleepingbaby with the sticking-out-bit of her guitar.
“There is a great imbalance in the world. You must give me the Truth at all costs! Give me the Truth! If you refuse to give me it, I’ll tickle you to deeath!!” Woodlark shouted.
Sleepingbaby glanced uninterestedly at Woodlark. “Well, if you tickle me, I’ll deafen you with my incredibly DEAFening scream! Or, worse still…..I’ll PULL your tie!!! HAA HAA HAA!!” She laughed mischievously.
“Your puny screams and lame attempts at trying to strangle me have no effect on me, Sleepingbaby. Once I get the Truth, my enhanced powers shall reveal all your secrets!!” Woodlark spoke resolutely.
“NEVER! I SHALL NEVER GIVE YOU THE TRUTH!!” Sleepingbaby stuck out her tongue at Woodlark (who certainly was mildly appalled) and promptly vanished.
Woodlark slung her guitar on her back. uttered the words ‘urzzffphf’. A shimmering blue portal appeared before her. She stepped into the dim cantina and wrinkled her nose at the pungent aroma wafting from the customers’ various drinks. She shouted “Is the archenemy of Sleepingbaby somewhere here?” The various intoxicated patrons gave her a cursory glance, then returned to whatever semi-conscious state they were in.
A hand tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around, bumping into the raven-haired man standing behind her.
“It’s not wise to yell in this cantina. Some of them can have extremely violent reactions.”
Woodlark blinked in the insufficient light, staring at the person she was looking for. Garbed in a flowing cloak, the Jedi she seeked stared right back at her. She hadn’t expected him to be the silent, pacifistic warrior. Right then, she noticed the metal cylinder clipped to his belt.
“That’s my lightsaber.” The Jedi grinned.
“Err…hi! I’m Woodlark.” She introduced herself.
“Salutations. I’m Rynix. I am Sleepingbaby’s nemesis. You wish me to participate in your efforts to uncover the truth behind her?”
“Well…this mode of transportation is certainly a new experience,” Rynix muttered wryly as he took a step into the gleaming portal. Instantly, he reappeared on a flat, open plain. Taking in the beauty of the surrounding landscape, he failed to notice Woodlark waiting impatiently behind him, arms crossed.
“Don’t we have a mission to accomplish?”
Rynix grinned sheepishly. He gestured at a figure in the distance.
“Figure that’s her?”
“Shall we go find out?”
The Pegasus was munching at a patch of fresh, green grass, when she sensed the presence of two humans standing beside her. Craning her neck, she spotted a young man in a black cloak and a woman. The male approached her, offering a bunch of rare zarph flowers, her favourite snack. All suspicion evaporated as she looked into the man’s kindly face.
“Hey girl. I’ve got something for you.” He proffered the flowers.
Striding over, she gracefully took the bright blossoms from the man, eagerly chewing them up. While she was doing so, she felt the man pat her on the head.
“Easy girl…could you do me a small favour? Fly me over to that person sitting over there?”
The Pegasus felt a compulsion to help this stranger. Something about him seemed just right.
She bleated, squatting to allow the pair of humans to mount her. After they were comfortably settled on her back, she galloped forward, gaining speed, her powerful wings lifting them off the ground.
Rynix grinned contentedly and glanced back at Woodlark, who seemed to be riding comfortably on the Pegasus’ back.
“I used to ride banthas back on Tatooine, so this isn’t that much of a difference!”
“Well…it’s a first for me too!”
The Pegasus dropped them off a couple of metres away from the other human. Rynix stroked her muzzle, then thanked her for the lift. The Pegasus nodded silently, and took off again. Rynix and Woodlark watched the ebony Pegasus disappear into the clear blue skies, then diverted their attention back to the figure plucking petals off a flower.
Sleepingbaby was muttering dreamily.
“He loves me, he loves me not…”
She looked up and saw the duo looking down at her.
She shrieked and hurled the flower away.
“What are you doing here?!”
“We came to find the truth, and you aren’t getting away this time!”
Almost immediately, she spun and tried to escape, but only managed to stumble across Woodlark’s outstretched foot.
Sleepingbaby looked around in desperation, then screamed.
Almost immediately, a short male appeared in a flash of light. Leapt reoriented himself with the new surroundings, then caught Rynix’s eye.
“You have come.”
Rynix confronted the evil pair, calmly stating “We have come for the truth. You cannot evade us any longer. Don’t make me resort to violence”.
Sleepingbaby laughed nervously. “You know nothing of me, nor of him.” Rynix closed his eyes for a second, apparently in deep thought. “My Jedi powers have revealed your closest secret.”
“And you have no proof either.” Leapt smirked.
“No, we do.” Woodlark steps into view, holding a thick leather-bound book in her hands. “Ever heard of the Message Archive?”
“But…but…” Sleepingbaby stuttered and looked helplessly at Leapt. “Er…” Leapt looked down at his feet. “You tell them….”
Sleepingbaby nudged Leapt.
“Actually, you see-” Leapt started. “He’s my long lost brother. Yeah. That’s it.” Sleepingbaby interjected. Rynix looked skeptically at them. “Your long lost brother?” Woodlark raises an eyebrow.
“You expect us to believe that?” Woodlark asked. “No…” Sleepingbaby tried looking really small indeed. Not much use. Rynix and Woodlark looked down intimidatingly at her. “Okay!! OKAY! I admit! He… me…” She instantly burst into torrents of tears, and collapsed into Leapt’s arms. Leapt looked slightly disgruntled at getting wet with her tears.
Rynix frowned. “My Jedi sense tells me that you are Not telling us the whole truth.” Sleepingbaby sulked. “FINE. I admit…there’s also this Penguin…”
Leapt dropped Sleepingbaby, who crashed noisily to the ground. “OWW!” Sleepingbaby whined.
“WHAT PENGUIN?” Leapt looked horrified. Sleepingbaby sniffed. “Pengy. You know. That blur looking one…you know.” Sleepingbaby suddenly realised what she had said.
“You didn’t.” Leapt said.
“Yes I did.” Said Sleepingbaby.
“No you didn’t.” Leapt said.
“Yes, I Did.” Sleepingbaby chortled.
“No, no you couldn’t have..” Leapt grinned.
“Yes, of course I did..” Sleepingbaby laughed out loud.
They were quiet for a moment. A soft ‘Boink…boink…boink…’ sound penetrated the silence. All the heads were turned to seek out the cause of the noise. A bespectacled penguin bounced through the lonely landscape. He suddenly stopped and turned to look at the crowd staring at him. In all his childish innocence he grinned and waved.
All this while, Leapt had been staring into nowhere. He shook himself back to reality. “NOW I’M ANGRY!!” Leapt leapt up and whipped out a rail gun, earlier hidden from sight by his black trenchcoat. “HAAA HAAA HAA!!!” Leapt laughed sadistically and fired once at the faraway target.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Sleepingbaby screamed.
Everyone winced. Though momentarily deafened, Rynix gathered his wits about and pulled his lightsaber out. He ignited it and using his Jedi reflexes, he flung it towards the depleted uranium slug. It deflected the shot, and using the Force, Rynix made the lightsaber fly straight back into his hand. Woodlark could see the slug deviate course and slam into the hill.
‘Pieeeeeeeeeeooooo……THONK” The slug flew straight into the ground, blowing up a small chunk of earth.
“Look at what you’ve done! The landscaping!” Woodlark muttered.
“Hey!” Pengy yelled from a distance. “Having a party over there?”
Leapt reloaded his rail gun and fired wildly. Rynix reached for his lightsaber, but this time, was unprepared. The slug flew unhindered, and a ‘crack’ resonated through the hills as it broke the sound barrier. Going off its intended direction, it collided with a hapless unicorn grazing in the far distance. The wretched creature expired in a blob of exploding red. Upon seeing that, Leapt laughed evilly.
“NO!!” Woodlark shouted. She took out her guitar and brought it down hard on Leapt’s head.
“OWWH! What was that for?” Leapt said, looking miserable.
“For disturbing the peace, for destroying the landscape, and for killing that unicorn!” She swung her guitar and hit him again.
Pengy hopped off in the distance, still blissfully unaware of what had just transgressed just over the hill…
Rynix had gone to check out the carnage wrought upon the poor unicorn. Leapt had run out of ammo, so it was relatively safe, having less one maniac firing at you…
“Pity. Would have been fun.” Leapt sighed, and discarded his rail gun.
“Have you no remorse?” Woodlark asked.
Leapt paused in serious and deep thought. He wondered whether it was lunch time yet. And he pondered why he forgot to wear his sunshades that morning since the sun was shining in his eyes.
“No.” Leapt grinned.
And pulled out a grenade. A big one.
Leapt yanked out the pin, and in the midst of a bout of maniacal laughter, dropped it on the ground.
By this time, Pengy had hopped back, still blissfully oblivious of the proceedings. Spotting the nice shiny sphere on the ground, he picked it up and looked at it inquisitively. The puzzled look was still on his face when the grenade went off.
Rynix winced and turned away from the crater, a look of disgust plainly apparent.
“And they said that curiosity killed the cat…”
“True, and you just had to save him,” commented Woodlark, as small flecks of red came raining down all around them.
Sleepingbaby couldn’t stand anymore. Her legs, unable to support her, gave way, and she fell to the ground, weeping. The pain of losing one of her lovers, the ex-penguin-that-was-by-then-in-9002-separate-pieces-scattered-all-over-the-place, was too much for her to bear. She shrieked uncontrollably.
Rynix had already sensed the danger, stepping closer to Woodlark, grabbed her by the hand and closed his eyes, creating a protective force bubble around the two of them. The sonic attack simply passed over them, with no adverse effects.
Leapt was not so lucky. The shriek literally flung him away from Sleepingbaby, knocking him to the ground. He shook his head, clearing it of the insanity that had been present in there. His eyes flared and he stalked towards Sleepingbaby menacingly. Sleepingbaby, upon seeing the incoming threat, shrieked again.
Leapt kept on his feet this time, but something snapped in him. He blinked once. Twice. Thrice. He paused in half step and peered contemplatively at the sobbing Sleepingbaby. Amazingly, he knelt down on the ground beside Sleepingbaby and cradled her head, in an effort to comfort her.
Sleepingbaby sniffled. With red-rimmed eyes, she stared up with loving eyes at Leapt, her benefactor. Leapt stroked her hair, calming her down. Tension was in the air.
Rynix, watching the astonishing twist of events, suddenly remembered that he was still holding on to Woodlark’s hand. He immediately let go, a blush creeping over his face.
Right then, Sleepingbaby reached out with two arms and pulled Leapt down towards her, and gave him a tender kiss on the cheek.
Leapt, shocked, took a moment to respond. He then gently took Sleepingbaby’s hand, saying “If I profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this, my lips two blushing pilgrims, ready stand, to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.”
Sleepingbaby smiled. “Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss…” He drew her into an embrace, culminating in the deepest kiss Rynix and Woodlark had ever seen.
Disbelieving, Rynix shook his head.
Woodlark froze, looking mildly shocked. Quickly trying to regain her composure, she even considered strumming a little romantic serenade to set the mood, but then decided not to disturb the two. She slung her guitar on her back and sighed. “I suppose we’ve found the truth at long last…now, I don’t suppose you’d want to be a lamppost…”
“No..” Rynix, still feeling quite astounded at the turn of events, and after making a mental note that Leapt was indeed (as rumoured) mentally unstable and that Sleepingbaby had a potentially fatally deafening sonic scream, he turned and followed Woodlark to leave the scene.
And Woodlark and Rynix walked off under the ancient fire that blazed in the sky.
[And so the Truth was finally found. Though no one really know what exactly the nature of the Truth is, in this case, some semblance of a Truth is sufficient to be considered as the whole Truth, even if it was just some fake Truth, or merely some partially correct Truth. But as to whether it was the one and only truth out there to be found, or just the tip of the iceberg, one can only speculate, or use one’s overvivid imagination to come up with some new truth. After all, the truth is still out there…]
©1999 Woodlark and Rynix
All Rights Reserved.
Document dated: 1999 (likely Jan 31 1999).